Girl Talk: Red Light or Black Light Special?

It's 4:22 AM and I'm in the mood for a little girl talk! But before we begin our chat, if you're one of those people who can't handle sex talk or get "offended" by it, this post ain't for you...As adults we have all had our experiences with sex, good and bad. But what constitutes bad sex? Or good sex for that matter. I like to define my bad sexual experiences as a Black Light Special. Meaning, it was a dark period in my life and I want to forget it and leave that shit in the dark! But that good lovin, I'm talking that good GOOD, temperature rising HOT GOOD GOOD, I classify under the Red Light Special! And if you don't know what the red light special is, hunny you're about to find out! Anyone who knows me, and I mean TRULY knows me, knows I have...a wild side so to speak, now a days there is only one man that can attest to that.... But I'll share a bit of my hoe-ism, but is it hoe-ism if you're doing it with your man? I don't think so, but here we go. We've all been there, let's say you've been dating a guy for X amount of months. Dates have been going well, there's chemistry there, things are following in the right direction. Like, this man actually seems like someone you could be with for a while. It's time to put the Mack down. So you're all hot and ready, kissing and rubbing. Ya'll stripping down, the package looks right. You're excited now. 5 minutes later it's done. So now you're laying there with the what-the-fuck face. Quick ain't the word for this man, this shit went by so damn quick, you don't even remember it! He didn't take his time, he came so damn quick you didn't even realized ya'll had sex! I bet that will make you re-think your future as a couple lol Sometimes sex doesn't have to be quick to be bad. There are levels to the shit. There was a guy I was messing with once, we talked on the phone for about a week or two. When we talked sex, I mean he talked a mean ass game. He talked that shit up so good, he made my ass REAL excited. Decided to let him put the Mack down...nice package....15 minutes later...HE'S STILL GOING!!! And not a good "going", this fool is pulling a jack rabbit on my ass. Ya'll know what I'm talking about, he humping me so damn fast and hard it's like he's running a race! I can feel his sweat dripping on my back, I was disgusted and ready to be through, I mean a bitch PRAYED for the 5 minute treatment! The only reason I didn't stop him was because I figured with him going at that speed, he'd be done pretty quick. He put something down, but it wasn't the damn Mack! Ugh it was awful! Then there is the unfortunate, waiting...and waiting... OK, what are you doing? Put it in! "It's been in for 5 minutes!" Oh....now ya'll know you've had this one! Dick so little no matter how tight and right you are, the shit just went right on in like you just walked through a automatic door in a grocery store! Nah, you ain't loose boo, he's just small!! OMG! And what about the talkers! Now don't get me wrong, I like a little dirty talk. Like, "You working the hell out of this dick", or "Take that shit" or "Who's dick is it? This my shit ain't it?" Ya'll, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, BUT don't keep with the shit. If you eating the pie, eat the pie, don't ask me if it's good every 5 seconds. Just EAT THE SHIT! Ladies ya'll know, he be down there, killing that clitoris and raise up to ask "if it's good", "you like that shit don't you". What did 112 say, Don't ask no questions, you already know! This one's for my gay men (because the ladies to shy to admit they like it), you got this sexy ass man, big sexy ass lips with the perfect tongue, he flipped you over and got that ass tooted up, spread them cheeks and wanna play tickle me Elmo with the ass! Eat this shit, what are you doing? I mean he sneaking in there and licking like he trying to scratch it lightly with his tongue! Girl bye!! Just put it in! I ain't even giving you head because this shit was so whack! Now let's turn off the black light and turn on the red one. I gotta turn up the heat...You on a date with your man, ya'll out to eat, you dressed down and he is just fine as hell tonight! You smile at him and he's like "what?" In your mind you're like, damn just wait til we get home, but you reply, "nothing". Dinner was great, going to check a movie, you're in the middle of the movie and he grabs your hand. Damn, is touch is just driving me crazy. Movie over, you get home and he starts taking his clothes off. Before he can get them pants off, you already on the bed, like PLEASE put the Mack down! Ya'll kissing and rubbing, the passion is too intense, you just want him to take that shit NOW! And it's time, he's in that thing nice and slow. Your bodies are in sync and he feels so good, your body is on fire! Normally you would've wanted it rough, that's how bad you wanted it. But he pulled a Usher on that ass and kiss and loving ALL of you, nice and slow. It don't matter how long it is, it feels like FOREVER! *Give me that daddy long stroke! (In my Bey Voice)* Now ladies and gentlemen, THAT'S some good sex. You did that thing so smooth, he didn't just fuck you, he made love to your body and your mind. Rick Ross said money make you cum, hmm, will not tonight...Have you ever dated a guy, and he's a gentlemen, manners, chivalrous, treats you like a queen/king. It's your first time having sex, you're a little worried because he seems a bit...too soft. Nothing wrong with making love, but to put a end to that drought, he needs to bust the gates open with a flood so thick and juicy, you'll put a peach to shame. So ya'll going and in the heat of the moment, he snatches that ass up! I'm talking tearin that shit up, hair pulling (too an extent, don't be pulling my nice and neat curls na), smacking that ass, got you beggin for it and don't be ashamed because like TLC said, I ain't to proud to beg for what I call my own! And that's real talk! Chile, after he was finished, you so damn out of breath, forget the gym, he just worked that ass out right here and now. It just goes to show, don't judge a book by its cover, gentlemen in the street, freak in the bed....I was once dating a guy, I was knocked out sleep! Dead to the world. Next thing I know, I feel kissing on my neck, rubbing on my thighs and hard dick pressed against my ass. Now for the people that say, don't wake me up! Forget that, eyes was still closed and I let him get that shit! One of the best surprises he ever gave me! And I LOVE gifts! ;) We talked about bad head, but I think we've all had that special tongue that hits that special spot just right! WHEW! Now I know the ladies don't be feeling the doggy style...whatever your reasons, just hear me it, there was an older woman, she had had sex many times before in her life, and of course she came from time to time. It took one man, he put that thing down from behind, while playing with that cat...this particular woman said she had the most intense orgasm  of her life, she thought something was wrong with her!. Sleep on the doggy style if you want to, but when the right man put that thing down! I'm trying to tell ya! Pain don't last forever...and that's all I'm a say about that! There is nothing wrong or dirty about sex, especially when it's with your man. And if anyone disagrees with you, you tell them I SAID, get a life or get a good dick! And for my single ladies or gentlemen, don't feel left out...no one knows your body better than you... ;) Oops! Oh my!... And on that note the regular lights are back on and I'm headed to take a cold shower, and that's keeping it 100! Thanks for the girl talk!