G-Code

I exhale with anticipation. The crowd around me is very festive and lively. I can here other conversations going on around me. Yes, I'm being nosey. There is a couple to my left, the girl is going on and on about her day, and the guy is listening but it appear to be bored. Across from me is a group of friends excitedly talking about the holidays and how hungry they are. Just as they mention something familiar my Iphone goes off with a text message from my friend. The message reads that she's parking and will be in shortly. I sigh with relief, because I too like the group of friends is very hungry and my friend has had me waiting for about a half an hour. Before I could dwell on her apparent tardiness she comes breezing through the door. Dressed head to toe in winter. We live in Jacksonville, FL so it's about 62 degrees out and this chick has a scarf and snow boots on. But all in all, she looks lovely. "Hey boo, sorry I'm late" she says, walking towards me. "No problem" I say, instantly forgiving her lack of punctuality. She sits down next to me and starts going on and on about how her boyfriend was the reason she was late, and she'd further explain at the table. I sat just like the couple to my left, listening as my friend went on and on. I really wanted to hang onto her every word but she was beginning to talk in circles. "Clark, party of two!" Called a nearby hostess. And not a minute too soon.

We got up quickly, and I tried to avoid the stares of people near me, who are still waiting. Sorry y'all, your time is coming soon, I thought to myself. We got to the table and ordered a round of Cosmos. I've only known her for about 9 months, but she's so genuinely sweet, it's no wonder we're friends. She's quickly become one of my best friends and I feel as if I've known her forever. Her positive energy is exciting and she's very supportive. I need more friends like this. We met because she was crying at work one day. She then told me her life story, explaining how her last relationship ended very badly and how she was cheated on and he was mentally abusive. She then found out he was sleeping with her cousin and got the cousin pregnant. She didn't even get the chance to dump him, he left a note and changed his number. It was such a fucked up situation. She continues to tell me, she's late because her new boyfriend of 6 months wanted to put it down before she left and she was sure if she left it hard, he'd use it somewhere else. "I'm so happy with him though, I don't think he could ever do that to me, I want so bad to fully trust me, but there's just something about him that makes me a bit cautiousness" she says. "I'm happy for you boo, just take it slow, and when am I ever gonna get to meet Mr. Wonderful, you haven't even told me his name" I said.  "Oh, maybe one day. He's kinda funny acting about gay people. And I wouldn't want him to disrespect you" she says. "But I have a picture" she continues. She pulls out her phone and proceeds to show me the picture of Mr. Wonderful. I'm waiting with anticipation as she flips the phone around. "What's wrong?" she asks. The look of horror on my face is apparent. I can't stop staring at the picture. I then thought about my last relationship I always seemed to find emotionally unavailable men, but the last one was the doozy. I fell so hard, so fast I couldn't see straight. I pulled out all the stops, and did everything I could to make him mine, but he wouldn't commit to me. He was still crazy over his ex, but wanted to play house with me, without a title. The unofficial relationship lasted for 2 long years before I had had enough. We actually used to come to this very restaurant. It was our favorite. Being here now brings back a lot of painful memories, I guess that makes me a bit of a masochist. But not as much pain as when she showed me the picture of her boo. "My ex used to hold me just like that, as a matter of fact we took a picture just like that, he told me all I needed was this picture to remember that he loved me" I said. I glance at her and she has a look of confusion on her face. "My boyfriend told me that too" she said. She could see the hurt on my face. "That's him" I said. "Who? Is he here?" she asked. "No, in your picture. That's my ex" I said. "Impossible, your ex is gay, right?" she asked. "I thought so too" I said. "You're lying, stop that messy shit" she said. I pulled out my phone and showed her my version of the picture. And her face went pale. There he was, her Mr. Wonderful, and me in his arms. 

"But you said he was awful, and wouldn't commit, that doesn't sound anything like Tony at all" she said. "Well, Antonio, was and apparently still is very  manipulative. You got played. I'm sorry girl" I said. "I can't stand these faggots thinking they can take our men" she says out of no where. "Excuse me" I reply. "You heard me, I'm sorry it didn't work out, but he decided he wanted a woman, not someone pretending to be a woman, that's why he wouldn't commit to you. He's not a faggot" she said. "Bitch, he was a faggot when he ate this ass! He was a faggot when he asked me to fuck him! I'm sorry girl, your man is gay and you're a dumb ass bitch. I'm leaving, thanks for the drink and have fun with you and your faggot ass boyfriend. Don't forget to ask him how this ass tasted when you got home" I said. I picked up my keys and walked out....Bitch completely violated the G-code.....

It's 1:54PM, and I am patiently awaiting Christmas!!!! I'm so excited to see my family and the look on my niece's face when she opens her gift and ALL THE FOOD!!!! Y'all know I'm greedy. lol. So last week's Blog may have been a little in your face, so I'm a take the tone down a bit and just have an open discussion. Let's talk about the G-Code. We all know what the G-Code is. It's that code among friends that usually never has to be spoken. You just know. Let's get into it...

The most known rule of the G-Code is, you don't date your friend's exs. That's period. It's a universal No-No. If you think the ex is cute, you keep that shit to yourself and take it to the grave. Hos over bros, like for real. But there's levels to the shit. Even if it's just a crush, active boo, or work boo. You don't cross that line. When you know your friend likes someone, it should be automatic, there goes that one. Because is it really worth loosing a good friend over? Don't be Captain Steal-a-boo. That shit ain't cute. If your friend has a crush, then you indulge with them, not against them. Ain't no sharing biiii!!!!

But sometimes the shit gets tricky, just like the scenario above, sometimes you don't know it's an ex. Shit happens like that, what do you do? Do you expect your friend to dump Mr. Wonderful? Or can you put yourself aside and be happy for them? Before you answer that, flip it. Let's say you were dating Mr. Wonderful, would you give him up because he's your friend's ex? I think it depends on time. How long have you and the friend been close? How long have you been with Mr. Wonderful? I know that's contradicting but it's the truth. Sometimes the G-Code has to go out the window and you have to be selfish. Or just get the fuck over it. But situations like the one above will ruin a friendship, the outcome is never good. Because if your friend dumps Mr. Wonderful, they will resent you. They get to thinking what if he was the one? If they don't dump him, you probably won't be as close as you were. Especially if you bonded over discussing your personal relationships, that part of your friendship is over because you know you don't wanna hear about that shit. It's a bad situation either way. Just like the situation on Catfish with the friend and the baby daddy. They fell out in the end because that girl fucked Trez. I know she did! She said fuck the G-Code, sorry that's your baby daddy, but I'm lonely and I want the D. Sometimes, shit happens.

Another rule of the G-Code, is if you see your friend's spouse/lover/boo flirting and putting the mack down with someone else, YOU SPILL THE TEA!!! Yes bitch, you sing like a mutherfuckin Mockingbird!! No joke. Because I want to know. You pass the info and let them deal with it how they may. If you don't tell, that's a violation of the G-Code and your friend will be mad at you. It's a fact.  Now let's take it deeper, what if you see your friend's spouse/lover/boo getting down with the same sex...Now this is a loop hole to the G-Code. Now this is a rule I violate every time. I don't care who you are, but I will NEVER tell my female friends if I see their guy with another man. It takes shit to another level. I had a friend that has been with numerous gay guys, and I will never tell her. EVER! To all my fellow gays, I'm telling you, it doesn't matter how many gay husbands, or gay friends she has, you tell a girl her man is fruity and shit will turn around on you. I'm telling you. I won't do it. Call me a bad friend or whatever, I'm down with anything else. But I ain't down with that! 

Another rule, if your friend is getting jumped...well the mature thing is to call the police. But per the G-code, you jump in! Now I don't condone fighting, AT ALL. But if you're my bestie and I see you getting jumped, no bitch. I'm jumping in!! Unless it could ruin my reputation or something then girl you on your own. I love you and all but my family comes first. Just saying...But hopefully as grown ass adults, we won't be in that situation. But if it's verbal, HELL YEAH! I got you! Ain't nobody bout to bully my bestie! Get the fuck outta here with that shit! We gon read them bitches DOWN! 

There are many rules to the G-Code, those are just a couple. There's the signal when it's time to go. Every friend has it. When y'all go somewhere and you know it's time to bounce, you give the signal and it's time to move. Or if you're dating, you give your friend the guy's info, just in case something pop off....But one of the most important rules is, when your friend is dealing with some shit and need to release....you're there. Whether it be phone, going out for a drink or just having a movie night. It's the most important rule of the G-Code. Be there. And THAT's keeping it 100

Hello

Hello. It's me. I was wondering after all these weeks, if you and me could meet...lol It's 2:59 AM, and I am sleepy but I'm ready to reconnect with everyone. It's been a busy couple of weeks. First of all, I hope everyone had a GREAT Thanksgiving, I know I did. And to all my college students, we are DONE with finals week!!! Yep, it is winter break in this BITCH!!! And I don't plan on logging into my school website until NEXT YEAR! Speaking of which, this will be by last semester, because in May, my husband and I will graduate with an Associate's Degree!!!! I know right!! EXCITING TIMES!!! I think this will be a catch up Blog for me....so let's get to it, here are my random thoughts!

To piggy back on my graduation. I must say, it is surreal. Because 4-5 years ago, I didn't think i'd ever get back in school, let alone graduate. And here I am, with the strength and encouragement of my husband. We motivate each other. Push each other. Us doing well in school, is not just for him, or me. But for US, our future, our kids, the life we want for each other. If the person you are with does not push you to achieve your maximum potential, I'll say it like this, you need to re-evaluate some things. Like seriously. Speaking of graduation, when I graduate I will be the FIRST of my siblings to graduate with a degree. THE FIRST! Not to say that they're not successful in their own ways, but I will be the first of my mother's children to go to college and get a degree. Imagine that, the youngest, the one that came late in life, taking it all the way. So why does it feel like it means nothing to my family? Why is it that my husband and I seem like the only ones excited about our graduation? My niece will graduate high school next June, a month after me, and that overshadows EVERYTHING. Don't get me wrong, anyone who knows me, knows I love my niece, that's my ride or die right there. It's not her, it's her mother and mine. They act as if my graduation means nothing. They talk about this BIG graduation party for her and wanted to include my little cousin who also graduates high school. But the first one to get a college degree is completely overlooked. Now at first, I felt some kind of way that I'm not being celebrated or even acknowledged, but then I realized. My husband is my cheerleader. He celebrates me and I do the same for him. Maybe it wasn't meant for me to be forgotten, or hell him too. But I'm tired of getting the shit stick when it comes to me and my marriage. Some people secretly hate you for what they have not achieved for themselves. Which brings me to my next thought...

Next month, in exactly ONE MONTH, I will be married ONE YEAR!! I look back at those memories and think about how happy I was and how stressed I was on who was coming and who was not coming. But the crazy thing is. My husband and I always say, the people that were meant to be there, were there. And I believe that. BUT...it sometimes bugs me that some people that have seen our relationship through good and bad, were not able to attend. Especially since, some of the people in the group picture we are not close with anymore. I will not name names, and this is not a bashing session or anything like that. But it's just odd that a person I wanted there, who I always wanted to be a part of my wedding, I don't even speak to anymore.  I won't go into in detail, but even on my husband's side. Family is one thing, they're always gonna be there. But I've learned that friends really do come and go. Jealously...envy...whatever....It just means that they weren't meant to share in the rest of my journey. And I accept that. I still got my best friend, so what can I say, some friendships are meant to last forever, even if you don't speak every day.

Ok, what the fuck is up with all these damn bomb threats in our schools? Like for real. Everyone wanted to jump to the girl's defiance when she got yanked from her chair, but look at what kids are doing. Threatening to shoot up school parking lots, hacking schools, bomb threats. And Y'ALL don't think these kids today are out of control??? We are loosing grip, at what point is enough, enough? And that's all I'm a say about that for now.

And in closing, I saw The Wiz Live and um...y'all need to stop jumping on damn Raven Symone. Y'all always wanna talk about black people don't support each other, but as soon as someone has an opinion they're not supporting. GIRL BYE! No, BITCH BYE! I agree with Raven, I missed the "movie version" too. Notice I said movie version, because y'all quick to throw up that it was not the original. But most people DID NOT know that. So I agree, I miss Diana and Michael! It was the shit! I don't agree with everything Raven says sometimes but I'm a say what she can't say because she's on TV. GET THE FUCK OVER IT!  It was good, but it wasn't ALL THAT! Queen Latifah almost fell and them vocals were not up to par, the Dorothy girl got on my damn nerves! And Mary was only an OK Evilene to me. And y'all know I love Mary. But...it was just ok. Ne-Yo did good, everyone did good. But it was just OKAY! I'm not on TV, so if you say something to me, I'm gonna say something back. And unlike her, I will tell you to get the fuck out of my face, if you coming with some bullshit!

So I think that just about sums up our catch up of random thoughts. I wanna say, I love all my supports, please keep spreading the word about me, and sharing and retweeting.  All my overseas supports, Thank you! I just want everyone to love yourself enough to know your worth. Reach for your dreams and know that everything is possible.  With hard work and determination, you can have what ever you want out of life. It's ok to make mistakes, it's not about the mistakes you make, it's about what you do after that defines you. There are gonna be many to doubt you, hate you, envy you, but you have to build and keep pushing forward.  The past can only hurt if you let it. The only one that can stop your future is you. Let's step forward and keep it 100! Let's start repost, retweeting and letting people know you're 100! #keepit100 with #Therealmrclark, so everyone knows, this is some real shit and you're about that real shit, AND THAT'S KEEP IT 100!