Caitlyn: Judge Me Not

“How would your life be different if…You stopped making negative judgmental assumptions about people you encounter? Let today be the day…You look for the good in everyone you meet and respect their journey.” 
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

It's 12:49AM and I've been wondering all WEEK what in the hell was I gonna write about this week. Then it occurred to me that it doesn't have to be anything earth shattering it just has to be genuine. I can just speak on things I've experienced and seen. After all, the title of my blog is "Just My Thoughts...". So last week, I saw a post on Facebook. It was a general question and a good one. Caitlyn Jenner may go to prison, would she go to a male correctional facility or a female one. Now before I give my answer, I know a lot of people are tired of talking about Caitlyn, but I have yet to really share my own personal thoughts. So here we go. She SHOULD indeed go to a women's correctional facility, as she does identify as a female. But that is not what bothered me, the question is indeed a fair one to ask. What was disturbing was that one of the comments not only referred to her as a HIM, but made very disgusting comments like; "I don't support the science project" and "you spelled Bruce wrong." And that was to name a couple. What this person did not realize is yes he is indeed entitled to his own opinion, but you are not only disrespecting her but all transgenders alike. We as humans tend to fear and condemn things we do not understand. So that part of his ignorance is a given, but what is inexcusable is that he did not educate himself on a matter he cannot relate to nor understand before making derogatory comments. The fact is this is why a lot of our youth and even adults are committing suicide. Because people are not taking the time to educate themselves about a particular lifestyle before judging it. People feel so afraid to be themselves and fear they would be severely ridiculed so they end their lives, before they even begin to live. And how can you even say you've lived if you spend your life hiding who you are. I think it is a beautiful thing to be able to be yourself. Your TRUE self! It is not only beautiful but BRAVE. I do not however agree with the media circus Caitlyn Jenner has turned into. I also don't agree that she waited "too long" to transition. I also do not agree with how she told Khloe she was concerned with HER kids. But Kim, Khloe and Kourtney are as much her children as the others. I do slightly agree with what he said about Kris Jenner in Vanity Fair. How if she accepted him, they would still be together. Now granted, I know that woman is hurt and all that. But let's be real for a second, unconditionally love is just that unconditional. If you love a person, truly and deeply, you love them beyond physical appearance. If not, then it wasn't true love. I don't think that was a DISS at Kris but a realization that what they had was not truly unconditional. Yes they loved each other, shared many years and had children, but it wasn't unconditional. You can't put a condition on love. People are also saying, she waited too long to do this, especially health wise. All those surgeries at an older age may not be ideal, but you only live life once, there are no sequels. It's not a shame that she waited until she was much older, it is a shame that she lived her entire life in hiding. Underneath the gold medals, bunch of kids and marriages, she could not truly be herself. I myself am not transgender but I am a gay male. Before I was comfortable with myself, I forced a facade and wore a mask to hide the great person I was. I couldn't be into pop music, I couldn't dance to Britney, I couldn't be an Independent Woman or declare that I don't want no scrubs in my life. I was suppose to be the straight black boy, that listened to the Hot Boyz and dated girls. It took a long time for me to shed all the bullshit and stop giving a FUCK about what people said. But some people don't find that strength. I think people forget that we are indeed human. No matter what gender you identify with, we are human. Caitlyn Jenner is a human being. It is a respect factor. How can you disrespect someone you don't even know because of what they want to do with their life!? And half of you that throw shade at Caitlyn can't hold a damn candle to her. You taking Instagram selfies but your tracks showing, you at the clubs wearing them hair store flip flops, you guys are calling her a science project but you can't get a date with a woman with class or can't keep her because you're childish, broke or your dick game is WHACK...The bottom line is show respect and stop judging. You have no idea what effects you may have on the person with the nasty things you say. Words cut.... Let people live their lives. And stop making it so hard for more people to be brave in this world! Keep in mind that life is like a fucking boomerang, you get back what you put out...and that's keeping it 100!

PS: And for those who might want to educate themselves on Caitlyn, try checking out her show I Am Cait, it comes on Sunday nights on E!. I won't lie, it is a bit boring, but it strips down to the person she is without the media hoopla.

I Am Changing

It is 1:40AM and I am sitting here enjoying the last bit of my no school work before Fall Semester begins Monday. My husband and I have recently taking a liking to the Starz show 'Power'. What's amazing is not just the main story line, but the sub-stories and meanings as well. (Spoilers for those who haven't seen it) In the show, Omari Hardick plays a character named Ghost. Now without giving away the premise, he has people around him who have been down with him since childhood and teenage years. Or what some may refer to as, Day 1 Friends! lol Now, the problem comes in at the fact they all expect him to be the same person he was not only when they met him but over the years. No matter how much his life changes and he desperately wants change, everyone around him wants him to remain that same person from the "back in the day". (Didn't give too much away, trust me there is SO much more to the story for those who haven't seen it, go watch, it's a must see!) Now, I bring this up to say now a days people keep saying, No new friends. I'm down with my day 1! I disagree. Because ultimately you out grow some people. Have you ever had that one friend or friends that you've known for years upon years and they still expect the same things from you that you've did when you were teenagers and early 20s. Now it may be cute for some to parade around saying, Oh I'm the same me, nothing has changed. Well I'm sorry, but that is sad. I look at myself 10 years ago, and even 5 years ago and I am not the same person. I view the things around me differently and even want different things. I have experienced different things, different cultures, furthered my education and I just like preferences have grown. A lot of my superficial and immature views about life have well...evolved. And that is not a bad thing. It is healthy to expand yourself out of your own bubble. Now when I say you "out grow" people, I'm not saying that to say, I'm better than someone or more advanced. I say that to say we are on two different levels. I am a married, college educated, late 20s man. The way I carry myself, my views on education, the importance of stability, it all is a representation of me and who I am. Don't get me wrong, I'm still Chris, I'm still goofy, ditsy, and fun, but my priorities have shifted. Sometimes I long for the conversation of someone with the same struggles as me. College education, wanting to buy a house, building a family, securing a future, preparing for a career, possibly moving out of state...So when you say, no new friends, I'm like to hell with that, please let me find a new friend, someone who can relate to my current situation, someone who can appreciate me as I am today.I'm not saying completely diss and dismiss your old friends or that I don't love my friends, because I do, each and every one of them, but not a one of them I can talk to about the stress of finals and making sure I'm taking the right classes for my degree. Only a serious couple of them I can talk to about wanting to buy a house and making sure it is the right fit for my family, only one or two I can talk to about marriage. So when my husband asks me am I excited for Fall Semester and taking classes on campus, YES, I want to meet more college educated individuals to share my passions and struggles with. When I say I am changing, it is because I am. And I don't believe it is in a negative way, I'm just growing up. For the first time in my life, I really have a grown state of mind. And I just want that for those around me. And you should too. If you surround yourself with negative people or people that aren't happy in their own situations, what do YOU think the outcome of that is? You should want people around you who will feed into your future and bring something positive and productive. You should want people around you who sees you for who you are and see the positive glow you have about you. Just wanting someone to relate to.  But not every change is your fault for not being relatable. For instance, my best friend is experiencing the joys and (sometimes not so joyous days) of motherhood. Now I can't even begin to comprehend what it is like to round up a toddler and an infant and still try to maintain a social life. I say I get it and understand but to her I'll never truly understand until I become a parent. And there's nothing wrong with that, but I'm sure she too or used to want someone to talk to who is a parent/mother that can relate.  Anyways back on topic, doesn't it get tiresome when you have so much going on for yourself and then someone comes around and judges you off of the shit you USED to do. But it's not their fault, will it is actually, they just haven't grown enough in their own lives to be able to comprehend the level you're on right now, and that's keeping it 100!

Do Better, Be Better

It's 3:35AM and I just finished straighten up my living room. It is the last week of Summer Semester and it has been a long one, and unfortunately it is not over yet. I've been listening to Luke Bryan tonight because his music puts me in a state of calmness. I start reflecting and my nerves, soul and me period is at peace in this bliss of country music. With the pressures still on to complete these last few assignments I have a moment. It is a dark moment where I feel like giving up. With so many things going on at once, I just didn't see the point. My husband reassures me all the time of my potential, but sometimes I do not believe it. Sometimes when you feel in over your head, it is hard to see the sun. These negative thoughts surround me and I think back to my first attempt at school and how I didn't even bother to do the work and ultimately failed the class. I didn't take school seriously, to be honest, I didn't care. Then when I wanted it, I couldn't have it. I needed my mother's information to get financial aid because I was underage. Needless to say, she refused. To this day I still don't know why. So I waited. No I take that back. God put me in a position to wait, not until I was overage but until I was ready. And when I was ready, I hit the ground running. I jumped hurdles and overcame obstacles. Now today, I'm gearing up for my final 2 semesters. Now some people probably think, oh school isn't for me. Or I'm a do this and that. Or it's easy for you because you're a nerd. First off, let's back this thing up. I am not a nerd. I am very intelligent, goal-oriented and highly favored. I do what I need to do to get what I want. Nothing about this is easy. To my few friends they may think, wow he makes it look easy, he never talks about it. No I do not, why complain? I am on a mission. I do not want to work at call center jobs for the rest of my life. To each their own, but my destiny goes bigger than customer service. I'm tired of people talking about, Oh I'm a boss, I'm a boss, I'm a bad bitch. girl BYE! How the fuck can you be boss or bad AND be uneducated...get the fuck out of here! People say college isn't for them...And for some that may be true. Not everyone has the drive and determination to complete these courses. But most use that line as an excuse! And I'm sorry but approaching 30 without an education is just not cute. By the time I'm 30 I will be in a Bachelor's program. Making my dreams happen. People want to tell someone what they can and can't do in life but they're sitting on their asses, eating pom poms, trying to make good Quality Adherence scores for their jobs. Girl bye! Now don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking these jobs. But for me, there is a comma behind ADT, not a period. Want better for yourself. People want to hate on the next person simply because they are not where they want to be in life. But it is no one's fault but your own! Stop making excuses and just do it! If you messed up before, that is not the end. I did it! When it's your time, then it will be yours to get it! What God has for you, no one can take it away, except you. You're the only one who can mess up your own blessings. Ever notice when people go through something or deal with some type of drama first thing they say is, "Fuck them, I'm a do me, I'm a get back in school and just do me and get my degree" People keep saying what they're "gonna do" but never find the time to do it! What are you waiting for? You have time for the clubs...you have time to parlay with people who aren't contributing to your life...hell you have time for dick...make time to get yourself together! Stop making excuses and get yourself together. And please don't use your children as an excuse, be an example for them.  And please do not misinterpret me and assume I feel I am better than anyone. NO! I want better for myself! And I have worked hard for it! So when I have moments when I feel like giving up, I think about how far I've come and I push forward. Because when my husband and I walk across that stage next May and receive our Associate's Degree. That'll make it all worth it. Get yourselves together, like for real! Be real with yourself and what you want out of life and where you are in life. And ain't nobody got time to be lying on their credentials, don't be that person, that's just foolish and unnecessary, but you know me, I gotta keep it 100!

Girl Talk: What's Your Fantasy?

I take a deep breath. Mind racing. The air is crisp and cool, but my body temperature is heighten by the 3 glasses of wine I've drank. I can smell the sweet scents of my lotion on my body as I bite my lip and the anticipation builds between my legs. It's a bold move but a necessary one. I can hear the music playing softly from the living room. But not too loud so I can hear my King coming through the door. My mind flips through moments of intimacy over the last few months. I shift with aggravation. We've been so busy and tired lately, there seems to be a disconnect, time to reconnect this shit. I can feel my smooth comforter beneath me. I remember how the bed looked before I got into it. It was made to perfection, like something out of a magazine. By the time I'm able to see again, it'll be completely fucked up. And that's when I hear the sound I've been waiting for. I can hear the keys rattling at the front door in the distance. My heart beat continues to race and I exhale. I can hear his foot steps from a far and I look towards the direction the sound is coming from,but I see nothing but darkness. "Baby?" he calls for me. "In here" I reply. It's like my hormones grow more intense the closer he gets to the room. "Damn, what's going on?" And before I can speak, he sees me and know immediately what's going down. I'm blind-folded naked on the bed, and I'm ready to have my way with my man. I hope he's ready too... It's 1:00AM and I am here in my living room while my King is safe and soundly asleep awaiting for me to take my place next to him in our King size bed. It's dark in here and I feel like my thoughts are running wild. I had a friend who commented on Beyoncé's song Partition for it's content. Talking about Bey gon have everyone getting arrested for having sex in cars. And how it was too "out there" No girl, you're just boring as hell and I feel sorry for your future husband. The song to me represents a fantasy I hear a lot of concerns that when you get married or have been in a relationship for a very long time, the sex dwindles down and sometimes completely fizzes out. Well ladies and gents, if your sex drive is as high as mine, you find creative ways to...get back in the saddle.  Here's a few fantasies that come to mind and some are even ones of my own...The scenario I started I like to call the Naked Attraction. This is pretty simply put the element of surprise. You know your man is coming home. Have that thing FRESH, I repeat, FRESH, don't throw no stink ass or cooch on him! When you get out the shower, have that body nice and soft and smooth. Make sure you use the Bath and Body Works, something he'll smell as soon as he walks in the bedroom. And just be ready to go when he gets home. My scenario was naked in the bed, but you can be spread eagle on the couch, face down ass up, or propped up in the door way. The blind-fold is just an added touch to make things more intense. And if you REALLY wanna take it down, let him tie you up or vice versa... Let's say you're on date night, same typical date night. Dinner and a movie. It doesn't bother you because you love spending time with the boo. BUT, you think ahead and prepare for this date night. You slip on the extra sexy underneath and before you go home, let him have dessert...in a parking lot...behind a building...hell if you really wanna turn up the heat...take it throw back and do it in the movie theater. Sit in the WAY back, pick a not so popular movie, do not pick a crowded theater...you will get kicked out, sit in the back and do what ever comes to mind. Sit on the dick and take a ride. Toot it and boot it, let him eat that thing. The thought of getting caught will make for a very intense orgasm. Sometimes your home can make for a very boring scene, not for me, but for some, get a hotel...one with a balcony...Let's call this the Balcony Pop-Off. You can't tell me it's not hot to be totally naked on your balcony, he has you bent over the rail. And he just plunges that thick throbbing dick inside you and you can barely catch your breath. He fucks you so hard, you cum all over yourself. And oops, you were so caught in the moment, you didn't even notice the hotel manager down below smoking a cigarette watching the entire thing...awkward lol....Or...you can do it like my favorite drink...sex on the beach. Don't worry about the sand in your hair or between your thighs... you can have fun rinsing it off later...But you don't have to leave your house to have a fantasy. He can bend me over the table, the kitchen counter, straddle him on the couch...take it in the shower...oh boy. The point is to spice it up. You love this man, if things get stale, freshen that shit up. I don't understand why people cheat because they are not fulfilled at home. Fuck that, I don't want any other man. No other man can fulfill me the way my husband does. I want all of the above with HIM! lol If you're having problems in the bedroom talk about it, take action, do not let things go south...unless it's a tongue...lol Speaking of which...Hell you can even pull a 4-Play in the foyer, catch him as he's coming in. Don't give him any time to think. Pull that dick out and go to work. Suck that dick like your life depends on it. But not to completion, just enough so he's rock hard and ready to roll. And on to the bedroom you go. Like for real! Us as bottoms and women can not be afraid to initiate sex when we want it. Stroke his ego, call him daddy, get that shit POPPING! The ladies in married to medicine talked about Dr. Heavenly because she call her husband daddy, OK! SO WHAT!? I call my husband daddy too! What you hatin for? That's your man, what you scared for??? Now you can't be too aggressive ALL the time, just enough to get him going, then let him take control. But if your man get to acting funny and say he too tired and all this foolishness, fuck it! TAKE THE SHIT! And THAT'S keeping it 100!!