Do Better, Be Better

It's 3:35AM and I just finished straighten up my living room. It is the last week of Summer Semester and it has been a long one, and unfortunately it is not over yet. I've been listening to Luke Bryan tonight because his music puts me in a state of calmness. I start reflecting and my nerves, soul and me period is at peace in this bliss of country music. With the pressures still on to complete these last few assignments I have a moment. It is a dark moment where I feel like giving up. With so many things going on at once, I just didn't see the point. My husband reassures me all the time of my potential, but sometimes I do not believe it. Sometimes when you feel in over your head, it is hard to see the sun. These negative thoughts surround me and I think back to my first attempt at school and how I didn't even bother to do the work and ultimately failed the class. I didn't take school seriously, to be honest, I didn't care. Then when I wanted it, I couldn't have it. I needed my mother's information to get financial aid because I was underage. Needless to say, she refused. To this day I still don't know why. So I waited. No I take that back. God put me in a position to wait, not until I was overage but until I was ready. And when I was ready, I hit the ground running. I jumped hurdles and overcame obstacles. Now today, I'm gearing up for my final 2 semesters. Now some people probably think, oh school isn't for me. Or I'm a do this and that. Or it's easy for you because you're a nerd. First off, let's back this thing up. I am not a nerd. I am very intelligent, goal-oriented and highly favored. I do what I need to do to get what I want. Nothing about this is easy. To my few friends they may think, wow he makes it look easy, he never talks about it. No I do not, why complain? I am on a mission. I do not want to work at call center jobs for the rest of my life. To each their own, but my destiny goes bigger than customer service. I'm tired of people talking about, Oh I'm a boss, I'm a boss, I'm a bad bitch. girl BYE! How the fuck can you be boss or bad AND be uneducated...get the fuck out of here! People say college isn't for them...And for some that may be true. Not everyone has the drive and determination to complete these courses. But most use that line as an excuse! And I'm sorry but approaching 30 without an education is just not cute. By the time I'm 30 I will be in a Bachelor's program. Making my dreams happen. People want to tell someone what they can and can't do in life but they're sitting on their asses, eating pom poms, trying to make good Quality Adherence scores for their jobs. Girl bye! Now don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking these jobs. But for me, there is a comma behind ADT, not a period. Want better for yourself. People want to hate on the next person simply because they are not where they want to be in life. But it is no one's fault but your own! Stop making excuses and just do it! If you messed up before, that is not the end. I did it! When it's your time, then it will be yours to get it! What God has for you, no one can take it away, except you. You're the only one who can mess up your own blessings. Ever notice when people go through something or deal with some type of drama first thing they say is, "Fuck them, I'm a do me, I'm a get back in school and just do me and get my degree" People keep saying what they're "gonna do" but never find the time to do it! What are you waiting for? You have time for the clubs...you have time to parlay with people who aren't contributing to your life...hell you have time for dick...make time to get yourself together! Stop making excuses and get yourself together. And please don't use your children as an excuse, be an example for them.  And please do not misinterpret me and assume I feel I am better than anyone. NO! I want better for myself! And I have worked hard for it! So when I have moments when I feel like giving up, I think about how far I've come and I push forward. Because when my husband and I walk across that stage next May and receive our Associate's Degree. That'll make it all worth it. Get yourselves together, like for real! Be real with yourself and what you want out of life and where you are in life. And ain't nobody got time to be lying on their credentials, don't be that person, that's just foolish and unnecessary, but you know me, I gotta keep it 100!