What’s up my 100s!!! I hope your weekend is going great! Lord knows Monday is just right around the corner…unfortunately lol Ok so here’s a scenario for the ladies…You’re single. You’ve had many bad dates and failed relationships; however, through it all, your best friend (who happens to be gay) has been there for you. He has been your support system through all the trials and tribulations. And not just the heartbreaks; the family drama, other friends and thepettiness, deaths…the list goes on. Your best friend has been there uplifting you every step of the way. You can tell him anything and it stays between you two. He’s your ride or die, your ace boon coon!
One day, you finally decide to take his advice. You realize you are at the point in your life where you’re focus should be on you. You are comfortable with who you are and ok with being single. You’ve decided to live your life and let love happens when God says it’s time. Then BOOM the time comes, and when you least expect it. He courts you for about a month or so and now you’re dating. He seems to be the man of your dreams. Everything appears to be great with him. He has a good job, his own car, own place, he does have one kid, but no baby mama drama. In fact, you’ve met the baby mama and she’s kinda cool. There are no lingering feelings, just co-parenting. He’s a great father and still appears to want more kids in the future. Speaking of which, he’s so comfortable with talking about the future and his goals in life. He’s a man with a plan lol. He’s a God fearing man and attends church more than just the communion service once a month. He’s just a breath of fresh air. Not to mention he’s a beast in the bedroom! Dick so good, he got you cooking breakfast, lunch AND dinner! And he makes sure you get yours ;)
Your two leading men haven’t met each other yet but you feed smalltidbits about them to each other. After a few months, you decide you want them to meet. So ya’ll go out to dinner or whatever so you can make your two worlds collide! Everything seems to go great, your best friend is being himself and making you laugh, however you notice your boyfriend is kind of quiet. He’s being unusually quiet, seeing as he’s able to hold a conversation about pretty much anything.
So when the night winds down, and he’s driving you home, you ask him was something wrong. He hesitates and responds he didn’t realize your best friend was gay. And that you never mentioned that before. You ask if that would be a problem and he replies bluntly yes. He does not like gay people, at all. He explains they make him uncomfortable, he doesn’t agree with their lifestyle and makes a conscience effort to avoid being around “those people”. He admits he’s severely homophobic and the thought of having to be around “someone like that” disgusts him.
For the first time, you’re seeing something in him you don’t care for. He explains, your friend seems nice, but he has no interest in being around him. If they move in together, he doesn’t want your friend there when he’s home. And he definitely doesn’t want “his” kids around that sort of behavior. So you can still have your friend, your worlds just can’t collide the way you want…What do you do? Do you try to maintain your friendship and keep your worlds separate and just expect your friend to understand? That means he won’t be at your wedding, any big birthday parties, your friend can’t come, and he won’t be able to have anything to do with your kids. So he definitely won’t be an “uncle”, “auntie” or “godparent”.
Or do you breakup with the man you’ve been waiting for? I mean, he is pretty much everything you’ve wanted in a man, even your mama like him. He has structured goals and will be an amazing father. This is who you want to spend the rest of your life with! What do you do?????
I personally would never stand in the way of my friend’s happiness. It may not be right but girl go get your man if that’s what you want. But to be honest in a situation like this…the friendship would dwindle. Because one, you’re still choosing, even though you may convince yourself you’re choosing both, you’re really choosing your man. But you will adhere to his restrictions. I would hope I’ve taught my girlfriends enough that a homophobic man has deeper issues than him “just not liking gays”. Two, if I’m your best friend and you have so much respect for me, the gay community and our culture, why would you wanna be with someone like that? Why would you wanna raise kids with someone who wants them to be closed minded and become possible bullies???? I don’t know, it’s a sticky situation, but either way, keep it 100 with me and let me know what you think!
