Labels And Stereotypes

It's 2:22 AM, I'm pretty tired from a long day but this Blog can't wait. My loving husband is exhausted and sleeping peacefully while I'm here in the dark, with a bud light Lime and my thoughts. I'm thinking about some of the labels that are put on us and how we let those labels turn us into stereotypes. This goes for men and women. One label you don't want is this sideline piece. Or as Monica says...Sideline Ho. lol. But there is a difference. In my opinion, a side piece is someone who did not know there was a "main piece".  When it comes to being a "side piece" I unfortunately have dealt with this. I was casually dating a guy, nothing serious no strings. And I didn't know it, but he had a boyfriend. I had no idea because he was always available to me. I didn't find out until he was unattached. If you're  a side  piece you can't be faulted. Don't sit here trying to argue and fight some dude/chick over their man. Step away REAL quick! Be mad at him not the other person. BUT if you knew, then yes you're a sideline ho. These are the ones believing him when he says he's gonna leave his girlfriend/boyfriend/baby mama/wife/husband, etc. But everyone knows damn well he ain't going no where. He's selfish and wants you both. Don't be the trifling one to come between a relationship, no matter how bad he makes it out to be. He's not leaving. Trust me. And if in that rare occasion he does leave...well let's just say there is also a difference between, "main piece" and "one and only". Like K. Michelle said, give it up, you'll never get a ring... The next one that trips me out is the baby mama/baby daddy drama. In my opinion I don't think it's a good look for ladies to be labeled baby mama. And some women are okay with that. But by you being okay with it, leaves you open to the typical stereotypes. Now this isn't for ALL women, just a certain few and I bet you know at least one. When you think of the typical baby mama, she always fighting with baby daddy 1, 2 or 3. Selling her food stamps knowing good and damn well them kids gotta eat, or better yet, spending it all up on a damn crab tray. There is nothing wrong with public assistance, but in my opinion (note, my OPINION) It should be temporary. These lazy women depending on the system to take care of their kids are sucking up all the resources, when their are women who work hard every day to make sure their kids have. The baby mama, stays in that mind frame and falls for these same dudes over and over and end up being nothing more than that....a baby mama. You can be a single mother, but be smart. If he is no good, PUT HIS ASS ON CHILD SUPPORT! If he wasn't there during your pregnancy, DO NOT GIVE YOUR BABY HIS LAST NAME AND ESPECIALLY NOT A JR! I used to know a girl who thought she fell in love 3 times, 3 different men, never married. And each played her the same way. And still just a baby mama. No ma'am ladies, ain't nothing secure until you've said I Do. The proposal ain't even secure, a ring is just that, A RING. Them papers is the real deal. When you say I do, THEN there is no need for child support, THEN it's okay to be knocked up whenever. It's time to be smarter ladies. There are MOTHERS out there everyday, grinding, going to school, making a good life for their kids, without help and some without support of fathers. Fantasia made "Baby Mama" sound good, it's not. Same for baby daddies, stop raw dogging these chicks! Knowing good and damn well you smashed but when she turns up pregnant you wanna act the fool! Be men. Take care of your responsibilities. You don't have to be with the girl to be a father but damn be a man bring SOMETHING to the table! The stereotypes of gay men I feel is an interesting topic. Gay men have so many labels, some funny, some disgusting, some that make you go 0_O. People look at gay men as colorful queens who twirl all day and who think they can turn any straight man gay. Now granted there are some out there that fall into that category but not all. Every gay man isn't loud. Every gay men isn't dramatic and diva. Every gay men doesn't take it up the ass. Every gay men doesn't know gay phrases and punchlines. I have a friend who talks to me about everything gay and is amazed when I'm like...um...what???? Gay is a label, we are men. We live our lives every day with our own set of struggles. We pay rent every month, have relationship problems, want families, like anyone else. Not every gay man puts on a dress or a wig, not every gay men desires to sleep with every man. Straight men (some, not all) think these things. They think we sit around all day thinking about dick and how loud and outlandish we can be. There are men at my job who act funny towards me because either they think I want them or they think I'm about to prance around the building. First off, I'm married, I have no desire to sleep with you, my husband is all the man I need and second, despite what you think, I can separate professional and personal behaviors. Some people think all gay men have HIV or Aids. No, that's just fucking ignorant. We can protect ourselves as well. Some people think just because I'm married to a man it shouldn't be respected like any other union, no sir buddy! It is a marriage like any other. I respect your union, respect mine. The list could go on and on, but I think I'll save that for another post ;). Then there is the person who judges all these labels and stereotypes and in a way they are enforcing them. I knew someone who looked down on "side pieces/hoes", tisk tisk my dear, don't forget your past. Just because you're no longer in that situation don't judge. Being condescending gets you no where. You are no better than anyone. The one thing I am not doing is judging. I respect every one's decision to do what ever they want for their life. I simply want to encourage people that if you're tired of being labeled as something, change it. Only you can. If you don't want to be some body's "baby mama", then don't. If you don't wanna be some body's sideline hoe, then stop! It all comes back to loving yourself and knowing your worth. People try to label me: gay, black, fat, ugly, bitch, Boigie, stuck up, nerd, teacher's pet, etc. But these people don't know my story or where I come from or what I've been through. I am not those things, I am Chris. That's it. I have titles. I am a husband, a brother, a son, a uncle, a friend and soon to be college graduate and one day father. That's what I answer to, don't answer to your label, answer to you. When you know yourself, who you are and what you are, all the labels fall to the waste side, and that's keeping it 100!