Dare To Be You!

It is 4:02Pm and I am sitting alone in the dark with my thoughts. I had every intention to write about bullying, but my thoughts took a turn. It’s a damn shame that in the year 2015 some people still can’t be themselves. Or better yet they’re too worried about the next bitch too much to be themselves. In an age where some many odd/weird things are accepted, or at least somewhat respected, why do people still care what others think? My story began when I was in middle school. EVERY DAY, I would have to walk around on egg shells because those bastard ass kids made me uncomfortable to be myself. It was as if they tried to make me hate myself. I was the short gay kid that wore dragon shirts, and Jnco jeans. I listened to Spice Girls and boy band pop. They tried to take every piece of those things and they tormented me. So because I didn’t want to be teased, I put pressure on my parents to buy the Nikes, Jordans and the expensive ass name brand clothes. I lied to them and myself about who I was and what I stood for. I wasn’t even sure about my own sexuality yet but that didn’t stop them from shouting out how gay I was and a bunch of other inappropriate things. I found comfort in my music, but even that was ridiculed. All because I am black, and I was listening to “white” music. All those things made it uneasy to go through life. Over the next several years, I was often self-conscience about my weight, the way I walked, what I wore, etc. I forced myself into R&B and Rap music as to not have a repeat cycle going into high school. During high school I had my first boyfriend…the confused cheater…he was so scared people would find out he was gay, that he made me scared. Even after him, I would walk through the stores and the malls, hearing laughter and I just knew they were laughing at me. When I started to embrace the gay lifestyle, the men would spare no feelings in saying that I was ugly, fat and dark. If I wasn’t skinny and light, no one would give me the time of day. Well I have to give the Old Playa is props, he took notice to my un-comfort one day and asked me about it. I gave him the run down, and he said, you know, those people may be snickering and laughing, because they are not brave enough to be themselves. They either want to be you, do you, or thought about it. Don’t be uncomfortable in your own skin. Love yourself. It took some time but since then, I stand tall as me. Christopher Gordon Clark. Yes I am dark, but my skin is beautiful, and smooth, no blemishes and chocolate is way more desired than carmel ;) Ugly??? Mutherfucker, do you see this face?!?! These sexy ass lips, these cute eyes, and don’t get me started on my hair. And fat...baby this bubble butt ain’t never had any complaints. I say all that to say, be you. Ladies, if you wanna be a tom boy, then you rock your jeans! If you wanna be a girly girl, twirl in your dress! If you don’t like your hair, change it! If you wanna be a boss, then girl be a BOSS! Same thing with my gays, if you wanna do drag, then damned get snatched and do drag. If you wanna wear heels, then bitch get you some heels! Some of my family members looked crazy at me when I walked in with my Michael Kors bag, YES! I rock a damn bag, and I look damn fabulous too! Did you not believe me when I said, I’m a diva! I don’t give a fuck what any of them have to say. I put on eyeliner, I rock bags and hell maybe even one day I’ll come stomping out in some heels. My husband wants to try different things, do it baby! Don’t be afraid of what these insecure miserable mutherfuckers think or have to say! You want some hair, get your Margeux. He wanted to try make up once, so we went to the mall with a couple of his friends and he had Bobby Brown put some on him, his friend laughed and made jokes. Even when I wear my bags he laughs. It doesn’t bother me, you’re just not comfortable in your own skin. You want so bad to embrace your inner queen, but you’re too scared. I guess some people have to laugh to keep from crying. But not me! I am almost 30 years old, I’ll be damned if I’m going to be anyone else but me. I’m multifaceted. So if I wanna be masculine, I will! If I wanna be feminine, I will! If I wanna sing Beyoncé all day, bitch I will! Some of his friends think I’m too into Beyoncé, some of them even teased about it, but bitches guess what? I’m Beyhive ALL DAY! Let me upgrade ya, so you can stop checkin for me, cus bitch I’m Flawless! And if I wanna bust out in the middle of the street in the Single Ladies routine, BITCH I will! Because I’m me, and I’m confident. I’m tired of people having something to say about what I do and what I like. If I want to go to every fucking concert there is, as long as my husband doesn’t mind, I work hard for it, so bitch I will! If I want to talk about dick, ass, and sex in my Blog, bitch I will! If I want to spell words MY WAY, in MY informal blog, YA’LL I will!  Stop worrying about my house and swipe at your own front doors, real talk! Today’s youth are scared to come out as gay. And some are just scared to be different. Of course it may not always be easy, but never hide who you are. It’s so bad, some kids are committing suicide because of the pressure they feel. I went through it too young boos, don’t let them steal your joy. Love yourself and give em a big fuck you, you’ll feel better in the long run. My niece is a tom boy, and she is so different I can hardly keep up. But guess what, I can’t be more proud, you do what makes you happy. When you do you and you’re happy with you, you don’t have time to worry about someone else. Life is too short to live your life based on what others think of you or what you’re doing. Because to be honest, if you’re twisting, twirling, stomping, be dramatic, being over the top, giving face, snap snap YASSSSS and a bitch snickers or have something to say. You read that bitch DOWN! You turn and say, don’t be mad at me because you’re too scared to be you, cus BITCH I’M ME! And that’s keeping it 100! Dare to be different!

Girl Talk: Red Light or Black Light Special?

It's 4:22 AM and I'm in the mood for a little girl talk! But before we begin our chat, if you're one of those people who can't handle sex talk or get "offended" by it, this post ain't for you...As adults we have all had our experiences with sex, good and bad. But what constitutes bad sex? Or good sex for that matter. I like to define my bad sexual experiences as a Black Light Special. Meaning, it was a dark period in my life and I want to forget it and leave that shit in the dark! But that good lovin, I'm talking that good GOOD, temperature rising HOT GOOD GOOD, I classify under the Red Light Special! And if you don't know what the red light special is, hunny you're about to find out! Anyone who knows me, and I mean TRULY knows me, knows I have...a wild side so to speak, now a days there is only one man that can attest to that.... But I'll share a bit of my hoe-ism, but is it hoe-ism if you're doing it with your man? I don't think so, but here we go. We've all been there, let's say you've been dating a guy for X amount of months. Dates have been going well, there's chemistry there, things are following in the right direction. Like, this man actually seems like someone you could be with for a while. It's time to put the Mack down. So you're all hot and ready, kissing and rubbing. Ya'll stripping down, the package looks right. You're excited now. 5 minutes later it's done. So now you're laying there with the what-the-fuck face. Quick ain't the word for this man, this shit went by so damn quick, you don't even remember it! He didn't take his time, he came so damn quick you didn't even realized ya'll had sex! I bet that will make you re-think your future as a couple lol Sometimes sex doesn't have to be quick to be bad. There are levels to the shit. There was a guy I was messing with once, we talked on the phone for about a week or two. When we talked sex, I mean he talked a mean ass game. He talked that shit up so good, he made my ass REAL excited. Decided to let him put the Mack down...nice package....15 minutes later...HE'S STILL GOING!!! And not a good "going", this fool is pulling a jack rabbit on my ass. Ya'll know what I'm talking about, he humping me so damn fast and hard it's like he's running a race! I can feel his sweat dripping on my back, I was disgusted and ready to be through, I mean a bitch PRAYED for the 5 minute treatment! The only reason I didn't stop him was because I figured with him going at that speed, he'd be done pretty quick. He put something down, but it wasn't the damn Mack! Ugh it was awful! Then there is the unfortunate, waiting...and waiting... OK, what are you doing? Put it in! "It's been in for 5 minutes!" Oh....now ya'll know you've had this one! Dick so little no matter how tight and right you are, the shit just went right on in like you just walked through a automatic door in a grocery store! Nah, you ain't loose boo, he's just small!! OMG! And what about the talkers! Now don't get me wrong, I like a little dirty talk. Like, "You working the hell out of this dick", or "Take that shit" or "Who's dick is it? This my shit ain't it?" Ya'll, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about, BUT don't keep with the shit. If you eating the pie, eat the pie, don't ask me if it's good every 5 seconds. Just EAT THE SHIT! Ladies ya'll know, he be down there, killing that clitoris and raise up to ask "if it's good", "you like that shit don't you". What did 112 say, Don't ask no questions, you already know! This one's for my gay men (because the ladies to shy to admit they like it), you got this sexy ass man, big sexy ass lips with the perfect tongue, he flipped you over and got that ass tooted up, spread them cheeks and wanna play tickle me Elmo with the ass! Eat this shit, what are you doing? I mean he sneaking in there and licking like he trying to scratch it lightly with his tongue! Girl bye!! Just put it in! I ain't even giving you head because this shit was so whack! Now let's turn off the black light and turn on the red one. I gotta turn up the heat...You on a date with your man, ya'll out to eat, you dressed down and he is just fine as hell tonight! You smile at him and he's like "what?" In your mind you're like, damn just wait til we get home, but you reply, "nothing". Dinner was great, going to check a movie, you're in the middle of the movie and he grabs your hand. Damn, is touch is just driving me crazy. Movie over, you get home and he starts taking his clothes off. Before he can get them pants off, you already on the bed, like PLEASE put the Mack down! Ya'll kissing and rubbing, the passion is too intense, you just want him to take that shit NOW! And it's time, he's in that thing nice and slow. Your bodies are in sync and he feels so good, your body is on fire! Normally you would've wanted it rough, that's how bad you wanted it. But he pulled a Usher on that ass and kiss and loving ALL of you, nice and slow. It don't matter how long it is, it feels like FOREVER! *Give me that daddy long stroke! (In my Bey Voice)* Now ladies and gentlemen, THAT'S some good sex. You did that thing so smooth, he didn't just fuck you, he made love to your body and your mind. Rick Ross said money make you cum, hmm, will not tonight...Have you ever dated a guy, and he's a gentlemen, manners, chivalrous, treats you like a queen/king. It's your first time having sex, you're a little worried because he seems a bit...too soft. Nothing wrong with making love, but to put a end to that drought, he needs to bust the gates open with a flood so thick and juicy, you'll put a peach to shame. So ya'll going and in the heat of the moment, he snatches that ass up! I'm talking tearin that shit up, hair pulling (too an extent, don't be pulling my nice and neat curls na), smacking that ass, got you beggin for it and don't be ashamed because like TLC said, I ain't to proud to beg for what I call my own! And that's real talk! Chile, after he was finished, you so damn out of breath, forget the gym, he just worked that ass out right here and now. It just goes to show, don't judge a book by its cover, gentlemen in the street, freak in the bed....I was once dating a guy, I was knocked out sleep! Dead to the world. Next thing I know, I feel kissing on my neck, rubbing on my thighs and hard dick pressed against my ass. Now for the people that say, don't wake me up! Forget that, eyes was still closed and I let him get that shit! One of the best surprises he ever gave me! And I LOVE gifts! ;) We talked about bad head, but I think we've all had that special tongue that hits that special spot just right! WHEW! Now I know the ladies don't be feeling the doggy style...whatever your reasons, just hear me it, there was an older woman, she had had sex many times before in her life, and of course she came from time to time. It took one man, he put that thing down from behind, while playing with that cat...this particular woman said she had the most intense orgasm  of her life, she thought something was wrong with her!. Sleep on the doggy style if you want to, but when the right man put that thing down! I'm trying to tell ya! Pain don't last forever...and that's all I'm a say about that! There is nothing wrong or dirty about sex, especially when it's with your man. And if anyone disagrees with you, you tell them I SAID, get a life or get a good dick! And for my single ladies or gentlemen, don't feel left out...no one knows your body better than you... ;) Oops! Oh my!... And on that note the regular lights are back on and I'm headed to take a cold shower, and that's keeping it 100! Thanks for the girl talk!

Emotionally Unavailable Men (He's Just Not That Into You Pt.2)

Yesterday I was sitting in our spare room/sitting room and I looked up at my husband in the living room. He did not notice I was looking at him, but I was. I was admiring the man sitting 20 feet away from me. I wondered how did I get so lucky. He chose me and I chose him. It got me thinking back before him and the turbulent relationships before him. I am sure people look at me and see my present. Although that is not a bad thing, they assume I was always crazy in love on cloud 9. When I speak about relationships and how these men treat my friends and family I speak from experience. I cannot judge anyone because I have been in bad situations. I have done stupid things for men, taken more than I should have, believed things I shouldn't have and loved others more than I loved myself. When I spoke about the signs you should look out for when he's not into you, those are signs that I missed myself. I thank everyone for seeing my current stage of life and seeing the love of my husband and the love for him on my face. But you can't understand where I am if you don't know where I have been. So I want to give you some insight as to why I advice certain things. And maybe you'll get a better understanding of me. Anyone who knows me, knows I have had bad choices in men. Or as I call them, EUMs...what is a EUM you might ask? A emotionally unavailable man is someone who is single physically but is mentally and emotionally still dealing with baggage. It could be an ex, or just life in general. Either way, they're are not ready for a relationship with you...... I have had a bit of everything, including the Confused Cheater, I met him over a decade ago when I wanted him to be a good friend. He turned on our friendship and did some fucked up things. Despite our rough beginnings, turns out we had an attraction to each other, an attraction that no one outside of us could understand. And that was fine. All I knew is I wanted him, and he wanted me and there started my first relationship with a guy. The confused cheater was just as his title. He didn't understand his attraction to guys, but he knew he loved me (or so he said) In fact he loved me so much, he cheated every chance he got, got head from my then best friend, fucked a girl he worked with, fingered girls at school, fucked random white girls, and the list could go on and on. Despite these things I wanted to make things work with him, until he wanted to make things work with another best friend of mine. Little did I know, she did too. So, needless to say, I was left with no man, and no best friend. She laughed and felt so proud over her prize, her very SMALL prize, guess I got the last laugh....It hurt for awhile, but time really does heal all wounds. I had to stop crying over someone who I obviously wasn't worth it to. That's the things ladies and gentlemen, why cry/stress over someone who doesn't think you are special enough to be one and only. If he cheats once, he will most likely cheat again. I was 16 when all that happened, young I know, but you don't have to be in your 20s to experience heartbreak for the first time. Over the next 3 years, I had my share of single men blues(chile that is a Blog for another time), and flings, until I met the Old Playa. Now the Old Playa did not want a relationship and made that fact clear. We had a clear understanding of friends with benefits. But Mr. Playa decided to change the rules bringing in date nights, kissing and intimacy into our flings. For anyone not familiar with this process, this means, it is no longer a fling. It is no longer a fling when everyone thinks you are together and Old Playa doesn't correct them. It is no longer a fling when you go from Chris to boo or baby. But when you solidify it as more than a fling, THEN it returns to a fling. THEN you notice all the other young tenderonies getting their salads tossed, freaked out and made to feel special. After awhile when the "others" numbers increased so much, the benefits drop and you're just friends, now you're all up in your feelings over this Old Playa and now you're the confused one. You are supposed to be older than me, established and showing me things. Not staying with a 19 year old and his mama! Catch that shade! But there is only one way to play a playa, no matter how old....sleep with his friend. lol Well that is not the way to do it, even though I did. I decided I didn't want to waste another year being "friends" with no benefit or relationship. So when the Old Playa said he was leaving...I said bye. A lot of women and men prefer dating older men. But you have to keep in mind, they have experienced things beyond what we know. When I was born, he was 11! When I learned to walk he was in high school! So to each their own, but look out for a man who doesn't take things as serious as you do when he should. Beware of the mind games that comes with a man who thinks they know more than you because they are older than you. So the friend that I got involved with, I thought he was a White Knight. He was sweet, kind, made me feel...like I was on fire. But when the flame burns so hot so quickly, the White Knight burns away and all that is left is the Opportunist under the armor. The Opportunist thought he was fine chile, the finest thing that walked the earth! He thought it was a pleasure for me to be with him. He thought I needed him to be important or wanted. He wanted me to feel isolated so all I needed and wanted was him. But...when you have nothing, what can I get from you? No car....no place to stay...no job....no education....Oh wait, but he was, oh sorry, IS a dope boy....But he attached himself to someone who was going places in life. I fell so hard so fast my head was spinning, this man disrespected me in ways I shutter to think about now. He was so full of himself, he told me I didn't deserve his dick, I wasn't good enough for him. It took quite a few attempts but I had to put the Opportunist out on his ass. And even then I still wanted him. That relationship was so damaging that I had to lose everything to come back from the opportunist, soon enough I was just like him, no car, no apartment, no job...but what set me a part is my work ethic and drive. With God's help, I pulled myself back up. Some may ask, if he did all that, how could I have loved him so deeply. Because I didn't love myself. I didn't love myself enough to know that I was worth more. That he didn't deserve me. For awhile I wondered what I could have done to make things different, until I realized the answer is nothing. Nothing I could have done would have changed the outcome, it just wasn't meant to be. And now he's gone on and attached himself to a new opportunity. If someone tries to take you from your friends, control every aspect of your life, isolate you from everyone, not to mention mental or physical abuse, if shit is just too damn destructive, you have to love yourself enough to let it go. As you can see I have had my share of bad men. I have dealt with things I should not have. I did not know what it meant to truly be in love and be happy. I didn't know what a good man felt like. Those experiences changed something me. I had been so selfless for years that I wouldn't be selfless anymore. I became selfish. Not to be nasty but because I felt I deserved it. I deserved for a man to claim me, I deserved for a man to be true to me, I deserved to be one and only, I deserved for a man to treat me as his equal. I deserved a man who thought I was worth it. I didn't know how to treat the right man when he came along. That's when I met the Halo, now when I say Halo, I don't mean angelic. I mean a normal, stand up guy, with light and dark qualities who has horns that hold up his halo. The Halo was different, yet familiar. I felt like the Halo was what my soul had searched for. It happened so quick, I wanted to be vulnerable with him, and let him in. But I had already had 4 strikes on my heart and couldn't bare to add another. I soon realized that the light and dark of the Halo depended solely on me. He had the ability to hurt me worse than anyone before him or love me harder than anyone ever could, he could bring out the worse parts of myself and also the absolute best. For a long time I was afraid of the Halo, because of his power and influence and the true potential of what I could have. I was afraid to let myself have everything I ever wanted. Sometimes you are so used to dealing with bullshit you don't know how to act when God gives you quality. Every relationship takes balance and after 6 years I realize that's what it takes. Love and War. And boy did we have our fair share of both. Nothing is perfect. Never settle. Men only do what you let them. If you let them get away with cheating, then he will. If you let him make you feel worthless, he will. If you let him hit you, he will. Each of us have an abundant amount of strength we never know about until we need it. When I look back at EVERYTHING I have been through I realize I didn't know my own strength, I did not know I was strong enough to handle certain situations and to overcome. And you will, you have to love yourself. I can't stress it enough. The Halo used to tell me all the time that he loved me, and I didn't believe him. It wasn't until I loved myself that I truly saw what love is and I am able to open my heart to him and receive his love. So when you see that glow on my face, it is because I love myself, and I love him and he truly loves me. Ladies if a man will disrespect you, he will disrespect your children, especially if they are not his own. Guys if he will sleep with your best friend, he will continue to cheat with anyone/anything. It all boils down to respect. Respect yourself. Love yourself. And that is where a good relationship begins. There is no perfect relationship. Show me a perfect relationship and I will show you a lie. The right man is out there, stop wasting time with the wrong ones, and that's keeping it 100!

He's Just Not That Into You

Ladies and gentlemen, we have heard the phrase "He's just not that into you" a few hundred times. But what does it mean? How can you identify the characteristics. Sometimes we get so caught up in the "I really like/love him" that we lose sight of our intuition. Sometimes it takes sitting back and REALLY, I mean REALLY analyzing your situation. I'm sure your cycle goes something like this. He does something you're not sure about, but you know you feel some kind of way. The feeling escalates for the next few days because he doesn't seem to care about why you're feeling the way you're feeling, you're "naggin" or "trippin". You say you're done, and then he comes back around with "I'm sorry" and talking a good game, so you have a brief moment of happiness and then you're back at square one. You have to realize he's not who he is when he's talking that good game. He's just pumping your head up. He's who he is from the moment you met him, up until now. A few things to look out for would be...

*If he bringing up the ex a lot*
Ok, yes the ex talk is necessary for a relationship I believe. But you say what you, and leave it alone. If he constantly talking about the bitch, then that's a RED flag. Talk to him about it, give him a chance to redeem himself, if not...deuces!

*You talk a little or barely at all*
Now see, when I first started dating my husband, I wanted to talk to him every chance I got. I was so excited about my new boo, I wanted his voice to be the first I heard when I woke up and the last before I went to sleep. Ladies don't be deceived, men are like that too, they are just low key about the shit. If he never wanna talk on the phone, always busy, oh I'll call you back and never do, prefer texting, go days without talking...RED flag, no ma'am, he don't want you boo....deuces!

*No date night*
If he rarely takes you out in public or he never wants to spend time with you or do things with you...he's not interested. If he likes you, he's gonna wanna be around you. If that is SERIOUSLY lacking....RED flag, he's not into you...deuces!

*Doesn't ask about you*
If he doesn't ask about your life, or how your day was, your goals, plans, NOTHING! He shows no interest in ya'll's future or let alone yours, no that's a RED flag...How can you even tolerate a man that doesn't ask about you or where ya'll could go?....deuces!

There are countless other signs, If he doesn't bring you around his friends or family (depending on the length of the relationship) or even show interest in doing so, if it is more physical than emotional, secretive about his phone/text messages, OH! And if  you can't be on his facebook friend list, or you are and he can't tag you in posts, or doesn't claim you period...RED flag! Chuck the deuces on his ass!

Most people spend so much time chasing the wrong people that they could potentially miss the right one. Sometimes you have to evaluate your situation. Can this person bring the same things you can. I'm talking 50/50...no 70/30! Why waste time with dead weight, if you see trash on the side of the road, you don't pick it up, you leave that shit there.

I read an article that I want to share, when a man is serious about you, you won't have to wonder, you will know, I don't think ya'll heard me, let me say it again and break it down, when a MAN, not a grown ass boy, wants to be serious with you and grow with you, you will not have to wonder about his intentions. He will make it known he is for real. Grown man don't play games. He'll apologize for being late and provide explanation. Not that you need a play by play, but he's considerate and doesn't want you to think otherwise.He is attentive when you are speaking and follows up about the things you say, because he knows it is important to you, so it is important to him. He cares about your future and encourages you to make yourself better. He is affectionate! He holds your hand and not afraid to be boo-ed up with you, he has meaningful conversations with you, pays attention to the little things and of course, he's sensitive to your feelings and he RESPECTS you!

It's time to stop making excuses for these men. Life is to short to be chasing some man around that's laughing while your ass is running after him. Want better and DO better for yourself. Anybody can talk a bunch of bullshit. But a real man will SHOW YOU. There is nothing wrong with wanting love, but when that person isn't right, he's just not right. And you have to move on with your life and make way for something better. Nobody wants to be alone, I get that, because I don't. But once you find that man that will make you feel worth it, you're gonna wonder why you dealt with the worthless and that's keeping it 100!

Money Vs Friends

Oil and water don't mix, and neither does friends and money! We all have protested this at some early stage in our lives. But for those of us who have migrated from the optimistic-it won't happen to me-la la land, know the real deal. I was once one of those people. Check this out, you have a friend, that you are really close with. I'm talking about your #1 main bitch, your ace, your ride or die homie. Then she needs to borrow some money....Now the first thought is (and some of you are lying if it isn't) How much this chick trying to get...10 I guess, 20 OK, 30 alright now, 40 you completely pushing it, and 50+ bitch you trying it girl!, then second....Should I lie and say I don't have it, or hear her out, so of course you get the full out sad story that plays on your conscience. So reluctantly you lend her the money, because that's the "bestie" and you want to be a blessing to someone. And that's your home girl, she's never crossed you before, so it should be fine.... Now fast forward 3 weeks...1 week after she was supposed to pay you back. No call...barely texting...all of a sudden she so busy, and every excuse as to why she's late on the payback (Or hell some people just won't contact you for a long as time, and then act like nothing happened) BUT...she just updated Facebook 23 minutes ago with... "It's Friday!! About to have this crab boil with the bestie! Hair on fleek, nails done, time to turn up! ". So you know the first thing you say to yourself....This broke ass bitch tried it! Oh bad body hoe, this bitch flexin on facebook, but too busy to pay me back. AND now some other hoe is bestie and I couldn't even get a invite to your tired ass crab boil!! So you call her...VOICEMAIL...but she commenting on somebody else's status! Now you going off and calling other friends to vent about this friend. And that's when things get ugly from there.  Unfortunately no matter how cool you are with a person, shit gets real when money is involved. Because it doesn't matter how long you've known each other, you don't play with people's money, they man, or their kids. Because if they don't answer you, then she's dodging you. If they late, then you think "She sure wasn't taking her time getting the money from me, but now she wanna play around when it's time to collect. Unless you are planning to GIVE the money to them, take my advice and don't lend it. I had a friend that lend one of our mutual friends some money, not only did she lend her what she asked for, but gave her additional because our friend really needed it. Chile, neither one of us heard from her for a few weeks, when it was time for the payback, the friend that borrowed said, Oh I don't owe you any money, I asked could I have it, not borrow....needless to say, that friendship ended INSTANTLY. It's not worth it, just like business and pleasure, it don't mix. And what I can't stand is when someone ask you for something and you say no you don't have it. Instead of the person being like, "Well thank you anyway, I appreciate it" They get a attitude with YOU, like you're SUPPOSED to help them or lend them money! lol The shit is crazy!!! This may not be keeping it all the way 100, but if my friends ask for me money, I just say I don't have it, whether I have it or not, and it's not to be mean or spiteful, its to preserve the friendship we have and for ME that's keeping it 100!