One of the Girls

WELCOME OCTOBER! It's 3:53AM, and I am tired as shit! I honestly don't remember much about this week, all I can tell you is that I'm behind on my homework but will have it done by Sunday! Don't ask how I blew the week away, because at this moment I don't remember...It was Monday morning, and now it's early Friday morning and my husband is badgering me to come to bed. lol But enough about my week, I was planning another route for this week's Blog all the way up until last night. Before I begin, this Blog has multiple meanings for me. It gives me a way to express myself on things that go on that are interesting to me, giving my opinion and insight on love and relationships to help other people, inspiring others as well as myself, and to reach out to people who may also feel that they don't have a voice. This is my voice and I want it to be heard loud and clear. So with that being said, I may offend some people but this is truly how I feel. (Sorry for the rambling)...

 Ok, so as most may know, I have taken a strong liking to country artist Luke Bryan. I've joined the fan club and subscribe to his app. On this app, many other fans get together and turn his live stream room into a chat room. We all talk about Luke and whatever it is that we want really. "Most" of us have become pretty close and chat off the app. Well one girl in particular started a closed Facebook group called Luke's app girls. So I sent in a request to join and was instantly accepted. Within the hour, I returned to the group to see what the conversations were like, and discovered I was no longer apart of the group. I went to the app and jokingly said, "I"m aggravated, because someone accepted me and then kicked me out" The other girls assured me it had to be some form of a mistake. I truly thought so too, hence saying my post was a joke. I then got a response from the owner of the group saying "Sorry Chris, nothing personal, but girls only". I took her words in carefully. And it wasn't until her response that I even reacted. She responded (simply, not even with negative intent) "Wasn't trying to be mean". From then, it became a back and forth thing, until I was like ok, it's cool. It hurt my feelings, but we're good. Let's keep it positive, no hard feelings. She and some of the other girls, who might I add wanted to follow me on other social sites and seem excited when I come chat, Mean girled up and took a stand with her. And that's when I realized I'm not dealing with grown adults, I'm dealing with Mean Girls, because even after I tried to squash it, they continued on and made jokes because they thought I wasn't there.

Now, some may ask, why did it hurt my feelings...because since the moment I came out as bi/curious/gay or what ever, I have ALWAYS been known as one of the girls. Not to be confused with saying, I want to BE a girl, but my girlfriends have just considered me (respectfully) as one of the girls. We chit chat about men, sex, or what ever. Stuff I can't relate to, I just don't relate to. But I've never been made to feel out of place because I am a guy until last night. It hurt my feelings because when I write my Blogs, (even my husband noticed) I not only write for my gay community, but I write for my girls as well! I never let them feel left out. When someone reads my Blog I want them to feel welcome and as if I could be talking directly to them and that they can relate, even though I'm a boy.

 It made it real for me that no matter how gay I am, or how down with the girls I am, or how cool I am, I'll never be one of the girls. And maybe that's my insecurities showing, but we all have them. It don't make me weak, it makes me human. Now don't get me wrong, she can have her girls only group, there is nothing wrong with that. There isn't. But there are so many woman out there wanting to be a part of gay culture (not to be gay, but apart of it). They want to use our slang, understand our terms, get insight into our lifestyle, but if we say gays only, we're wrong. You want to have your gay husbands and gay best friends but what do you really think about them? Now this isn't towards ALL women. I still love my ladies TO DEATH! It all comes down to treat people how you want to be treated! If you have a little homophob in you, don't make fake and phony because you think having a gay friend is cool. Be real with yourself. Because when a person like myself comes into someone's life, I come with geniality. I am myself and people love me because of my cool nature. You have no idea what purpose a person has for being in your life. That's why I try to treat everyone with respect, and accept them for who they are, and I expect it in return. As for the girl on that app, I don't have any hard feelings towards her, maybe she's homophobic, sexes, I don't know. What I can tell you is that she missed out on what could have been a good friend.

But don't get me twisted I will still rock with my ladies who rock with me, but for the ones out there calling us DIVOS, no girl, I'm a DIVA! A boss in my own right. Then there are the ones who want us around but not around YOUR  homegirls. It's like you know you love the gay boys but don't want anyone else to know, or you're scared of what anyone else will think or say. You don't want us around  your children because you fear that somehow after a brief interaction that your child would be gay, and LORD KNOWS you don't want that! You don't bring us around when your man is around because either you think your man is homophobic, or that we may try to get your man, or deep down you think we could (but that's another subject matter) Or simply you're just plain ol immature and insecure, either way this one's for you, and THAT'S Keeping it 100!