Prologue

            Curiosity. It’s something that can propel people to indulge in crazy things. When I was peaking at the age of 11, I had the conversation that began my curiosity. My mother did the only thing she could do to reassure her mind, so she asked me if I were gay. Naturally, like any young male living a sheltered as I did there was only one acceptable response.

            “No ma’am”, I replied.

            She persisted with the conversation. Which I call an extreme attempt to keep me off the bunny trail, she explained to me the natures of anal sex. Unfortunately, her methods were fruitless, for it was then my imagination began to soar to new heights. Consequently, I started to look at men in different ways; I wondered what would make a man want to take something up the rear. I was fixated like a journalist to a breaking story. At night, alone in my room, I’d fantasize about the men I observed. My thoughts aroused me; subsequently, it was then I took pleasure in my first orgasm. It was a sensation I’d never felt before, it was intense and yet addictive. I felt as if I had unlocked the secret to my own. Soon I realized that the more I did it, the more found my curiosity had not been met.

            I found a friend; he was my best friend at the time. He shared the same lust as I did for men. We’d talk day in and out about our fantasies until our conversations turned toward each other. He showed me his penis for the first time in the bathroom at school. The act itself frightened me to death, but I was excited at the same time. That also was not enough to satisfy my curiosity.

            So on the first day of 8^th grade, after school, in a not so crowded public library I faced my curiosity with my friend. I felt myself shaking with fear and excitement as he bent me over. I had no idea what to expect, so I kept an open mind. The penetration was almost unbearable; between the thrusting of his pelvis and his moans, my mind began to race with wonders to avoid the pain. What am I doing? Am I gay? Would my parents disown me? And with his words, “I’m about to cum”; I jumped back into reality and ran into the nearest stale. My heart was bounding in my head; I vowed never to do this again. At that very moment my friendship was over and so was my innocence.