Run Its Course...

I appreciate the ones who are present in my life. They say a true friend isn't just there when things are going great, they're also there when things aren't so great. Because it's in those bad times that you really find out who your true friends really are. I usually get all upset over people and stress because some friendships aren't like they used to be. But now I’m just thankful for the great times of the past and realize some things just run its course. I’ve recently been absent from my work for almost 2 months due to personal issues and not a one of my so-called “work” friends have even checked on me. I take that back, a couple of people who I wouldn’t have thought have spoken out to me, but that’s it. I’m referring to people who say they care and love me and call me friend. Not a one. Not a text, email, Facebook message, nor a phone call. My feelings were hurt at first, but I just realize…for what? It lets me know where I stand with people and where they will stand with me from now on. I pride myself as being a good friend, or at least I try. I don’t always answer the phone for everyone. I sometimes just do not feel like talking. But I still say, I’m a good friend. Especially to those who I consider a “close friend”. I’m not here to bash, or call anyone out. Truthfully, it is what it is. I have a problem with holding on to people based off what we were in the past. But my biggest error in that is, they change, I change and the friendship changes. And unfortunately, I still hold on to the memories of 3-5-7-10 years ago. Sometimes friends move away and grow apart, even if they return, it’s different. Sometimes you’re crazy about the person you first met and realize that somewhere along the lines when you both changed, you don’t care for the person they are today, the ever unfortunate, holding on to something that has been dead for a long time. And then there is the person who for whatever reason, wasn’t a very good friend, but doesn’t know how, or may not have the capacity of say, I was wrong. Like I said, it’s not about bashing or calling out, it’s about not chasing after something that is no longer there and accepting change of dynamics in a friendship.  I am thankful for God and my husband for keeping me grounded. And I am thankful for Carolyn and Jocelyn for being the friends that I needed them to be lately. Sometimes people stray and comeback, different dynamic and all. Sometimes it takes a minute to create a new foundation and proceed. I think I’ve evolved pass the stage of dropping people and deleting people. After all, I am 27, not 17. I just choose to keep my distance and live my life. One person, or a few people, don’t stop my show, I just let it, run its course.