So, the thing about advice is. It’s subjective. People ask you for advice and really don’t want it. Then why in the hell do they ask you may say/?….Because they want to just vent on the shit that’s on their mind! Your friend doesn’t want you to tell him how much of a useless asshole his boyfriend is. He just wants to vent. Your friend isn't able to tell him these concerns or issues to his face or properly focus his frustrations, so you, the trusted friend, must bare the weight of your friend's relationship issues. And you’re expect to sit there, engage, nod occasionally and when the shocking part comes, you’re supposed to go….GIRLLLLLL that’s fucked up. “Oh no he didn’t”. “Well, Damn!!”. People just want to be heard. But the minute you truly insert your feedback, and join the bashing train. Deep inside your friend’s head, they are a bit insulted that you’re talking bad about their lover. Or when the shit is done hitting the fan, you're expected to forget this conversation and be excited and blissful about their relationship.
People often turn to me for advice and it means so much to me that they value my opinion, but what people have to remember is what I'm saying is MY opinion. What I tell people is based off what I WOULD do. Or what I have done in the past. I let my friends know that it does not represent what THEY should do, or make what I say right. The decisions and choices I’ve made over the years have worked (or not worked) for ME. I like to take a step back, evaluate what I’m being told and provide constructive feedback to the people that ask and truly want my opinion. Who am I to tell someone what they SHOULD do. But even I have to catch myself sometimes.
You also can’t take advice from everybody. What makes a person truly qualified to tell you what you should do with your life? Every situation is different. Similar is not the same. If your man cheat on you and y’all been together for 6 months, and you ask me what you should do because you know my man cheated on me, but we were dating for 6 years….See how that can be different. There is levels to a situation. No two incidents are the same.
I’m not saying don’t seek advice, but just take it in with an open mind. What a person tells you isn’t definite. It’s just relative to the conversation. And the same goes for the person “giving” the advice. Don’t be ‘round her telling people “WHAT THEY SHOULD DO” or “WHAT THEY NEED TO DO”. You can only speak for yourself and what YOU would do or have done.
In my opinion, married folks shouldn't take advice from single friends or family (especially one’s that have never been married) How in the hell can you advice me on what I should do about my husband when you don’t know what it means to even have one!!! No shade but it ain’t no comparison boo-boo. That’s just me though. Even advice from married couples. I don't think anyone can really comment on a marriage. What goes on in a marriage is that couples' business. How you gon tell them what works for them??? No couple is perfect and no marriage is the same. Don't tell me what I should or shouldn't do for my husband (especially when you don't have one) or what I should or shouldn't let my husband do based on your opinion. All in all, be mindful of what you spread with your tongue. There is after all, life and death in the tongue. Stop feeding into drama and breath positvity and real life into situations….and that’s keeping it 100!
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