Family Ties that Bind?

It's 11:32PM, and I'm not feeling my best right now. The week yet again has gotten completely away from me. I'm finally getting into this Anatomy and Physiology class. My husband has thought of a great way for us to study this stuff. Here's to an A in this class!! My niece and I tried to win tickets to Jason Aldean ultimately after almost 3 hours we didn't win. But she did get the hoodie she wanted and I won a pair of cowboy boots for my husband. YEEHAW!!! Anyway, the highlight of my week is that my favorite country singer, Carrie Underwood released her new CD today! I had plans to make a shirt but didn't have enough iron-on letters, I got my CD though! Still haven't heard it all yet, but what I have heard is AMAZING as usual! Anyway, enough about my week! I had a conversation with my husband and my mom earlier this week and one question popped into my head....

Why is that when a relationship ends, the connections you've made with the family does too?

So let's say you've been dating someone for awhile, it's serious. You introduce this person to your family. So as time goes on, your relationship becomes more solid and they start coming around more and vice versa. Now after some years, for what ever reason, the relationship dies. The connections you made with his family and vice versa, do they just end? Are you expected to stop calling his mother on Mother's Day and birthdays? Or how about that bonding time with your brother(s). Does he stop coming over and playing video games with him (them) because he's not with you? Or how about when his sister got pregnant and you were there every step of the way. You've spend so much time with that baby, babysat...do you stop being Auntie/Uncle because you're no longer with the baby's biological Uncle? Or even with the family....would it hurt your feelings if grandma stopped baking you that coconut cake on Christmas (because she knows it's your favorite) because you're no longer dating her grandson?

This stuff happens everyday. And it's unfortunate, but the answers to those questions above are 9/10...YES!

I am lucky to have several siblings. 4 brothers and 4 sisters. Lord knows they've been in a plenty of relationships over the years lol. Whether it be marriage or just long term relationship, I have (mostly) bonded with all of their significant others. Some more than others. But over the years they have been with people that have seen me since I was a little jit playing Power Rangers, or through my boyband teenager phase listening to BSB and Nsync. And through those years, there was love on both sides. But when my sibling dumped them or did them wrong, they cut all ties with the family. But by doing so, did you ever really love us to begin with? When you called my mother "ma" did you really mean that, or did it sound cute to say at the time? How about my niece, she was a little girl when this stuff went on, when she learned to speak, she called you all Auntie, she's almost grown now, about to be off to college, where you at Auntie? Or how about me, I was little brother...or was that just to keep my big brother or sister around? I don't know. I can somewhat sympathize to some extent actually.

When relationships end, especially on bad terms, sometimes you just need a clean break. Staying in contact with those people you were getting close to like your own family is a reminder of that pain. It doesn't make it right. But you do it. Sometimes it's even hard, because you put so much energy and time into those relationships but the reminder is always there.

Even with my exes siblings, (some) I know they cared for me and vice versa, but when I was done with their brothers, I didn't want a reminder of that relationship. And THEY didn't do anything to me, but I thought it better all the way around if I cut ties. Especially once I was in a new relationship and my exes were too. The shit was just awkward, so I decided to avoid it. And even now, if something were to happen to my marriage (Heaven forbid) I couldn't imagine just walking away from my in laws. I genuinely love them all to death. They've seen me at some worse points and best. My little niece growing up, I don't wanna miss that just because my husband and I didn't work out. I just wouldn't want to do to them what my former in laws did to me.

Or how about when a friendship dies? You were close enough to me to get to know my family on a personal level. Our families know us from young teenagers/adults. I've slept in your house and you in mine. Just because we're not friends anymore...does that mean we stop caring about the people who had nothing to do with the fallout? Should they treat us any different? Just food for thought...None of the shit is ok, but it happens and sometimes it's hurtful. That's just my own personal feelings about it, and truthfully this is stuff I think about ever so often. I feel that no matter how painful, if it's so easy for you to walk away and cut ties from someone who did nothing to you, that maybe you never loved them to begin with, (and that goes for me too) and that's keeping it 100!